The Martian Death Flu Mario Kart Grudge Match

Whenever someone in my house gets really sick I always call it the Martian Death Flu.  Dave Barry, the best humor columnist ever, wrote an article called Molecular Homicide that summed up my feelings on any really horrible illness:

"We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu." You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past HIGH, that said ELECTROCUTION."  

If you haven't ever read anything written by him you MUST!!!

Benny and Garcia

Anyway, while we were all sick with MDF it just happened that it was Benny's Christmas Vacation.  I had a whole week off and felt all of this "working mom guilt" piling up on me because the best I could manage while we had all this time together was to not die in front of him.  After a few days of my only accomplishment being staying alive we both started to get a little bored and so was born the "Martian Death Flu Mario Kart Grudge Match"  Benny vs. Mommy.  We played every race on Mario Kart 4 times.  If raising my child from birth, feeding him, clothing him, taking him on trips, disciplining him with love, telling him he was perfect even when he was not, being patient with him, etc... etc... did not prove that I am a good mother... this did.  Seriously.

So we played all 32 races 4 times each and kept track of the results.  I made Benny keep a chart and add all the points.  We ended up with a poster.  I'm not sure exactly what method Benny was using for his charting purposes but I've convinced myself that it was educational.  There was adding and writing and spelling and reading a chart.  By the end of it I was feeling pretty impressed with myself.

Benny is already talking about next year's "Grudge Match".  He tells me that there is always the chance that I could do a little better if I practice a little harder.

So I guess the take away in all of this is that things don't have to go as planned always.  As long as you show up your kids are going to appreciate it.  Also, flu shots don't do anything.

One more Dave Barry quote.  Just because I can.

"There has been a mound of blankets on my wife's side of the bed for several days now, absolutely motionless except that it makes occasional efforts to spit into a Kleenex. I think it might be my wife, but the only way to tell for sure would be to prod it, which I wouldn't do even if I had the strength, because if it turned out that it was my wife, and she were alive, and I prodded her, it would kill her."

Click here for Dave Barry's website