Crafting FAIL

We'd all like to assume we are super women/men.... people.  I'm lucky because in my case I actually am.  However....

I had some grand plans to put together wax paper chandelier that MULTIPLE people have posted on their blogs.  I'm sure that I could eventually figure out how to do this properly and maybe I just completely overestimated the amount of patience I have but it did NOT turn out well.  At all.

My niece came over to help, my sister to watch, my nephew to entertain Benny.

So we were supposed to take 3 sheets of wax paper between two sheets of parchment paper and iron them together.  I had Alex tear all of the parchment paper and wax paper into strips.  Just like the blogs suggest.

We were still feeling pretty good about ourselves so here she is.... happy that she has accomplished successfully tearing eleventy bajillion sheets of wax paper.

Then things began to get more difficult as I realized I had lost my iron.  It goes downhill from here.

After my neighbor let me borrow an iron and we get back to work I started the process of ironing only to realize that we didn't need to tear the entire box of parchment paper into strips.  You really just need two because you can reuse them because the parchment paper is just there to keep you from screwing up your iron.  (Don't worry Julie, we didn't screw up your iron.)


Whatever... Onward and upwards!!!  We start ironing things together and I hand them off to Alex.  Here's where we run into the major problem....

The whole punch I bought for $20 (I mean I had a coupon and everything so I didn't actually pay that much) SUCKS MONKEYS!!

This is the best looking circle we got.  I know that might not seem like it's that bad but you have to realize it took us twenty minutes to get ONE that looked this good.  The chandelier takes about 10 million.  I just don't have that kind of time in my life.











This is how we felt.

But Nathan had brought home beer from Hop City.



















Then we got out the yarn

Super Human fixes Mac Book Power Cord.... Saves the Day!!

First let me explain that I am completely broke.  I'm scared to really tally up the amount of money that we spent on copays over Christmas but, sadly, I know it was at least $500.  It was not a good time to have to spend all of that money.  This is just a set up so that you understand that we were not going to be buying anything that wasn't absolutely necessary and by absolutely necessary I mean:  bread, toilet paper and wine.

Now that I've set it up put yourself in the frame of mind I was in when the magnetic power cord for our mac book pro... the only full size computer we have in our house... snapped in half.  I have no idea how it happened.  I don't want to know.  All I knew was that I wasn't buying a new cord until I got paid again and even then I was NOT happy about having to spend the money on it.  So being the crafty, awesome, do-it-yourselfer that I am.... I decided to fix it myself!

Disclaimer:  I am NOT an electrician, a computery type person of any kind or a Mac genius or whatever the employees at the mac store are called.  I have no special qualifications other than that I can generally understand instructions.  If you decide to use my "guide" to fix your power cord and your computer blows up.... I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE!!!!!

Here's what you'll need:  electrical tape, exacto knife or some sort of sharp blade, a bottle of wine.

Here's what I did:

Step One:  Realize that the stupid power cord has broken.  Freak out completely.  Feel sorry for yourself and blame others for your situation.  Drink.  Alcohol.

Realize that your child has been playing Minecraft all day and your computer is dead so you can't even google how to fix it or buy a new one.

Using your smart phone, tablet or one of the other 50 wi-fi devices in your house to google how much a new power cord costs.  After realizing it costs $80 pre-tax, google how to fix a power cord.

These are the instructions I used to do this. Also, lots of comic relief about possible dog and/or rabbit electrocution.

Step Two:  Cut both ends of the broken wire so that you have clean edges.  On one side the broken end was very close to the brick so I had to be very careful not to cut too much.  Drink a glass of wine.

Remember that you have to do all of these steps to both sides of the broken wire!

Step Three:  Carefully cut the outer sheath away and expose the many, many, many silver wires.  Drink a glass of wine.

Step Four:  Untwist the the silver wires and carefully pull them away from the inner sheath.  Drink a glass of wine.  Realize that the instruction's use of words like sheath and shaft and what they are asking you to do to them sounds really dirty.  Realize that maybe you should stop drinking so much wine.

Step Five:  Carefully cut the inner sheath away to expose the silver wires inside.  Giggle about the term "inner sheath".

Step Six:  (This is the most time consuming step.)  Using the edge of your blade at an angle, scrape the inner silver wires.  The wires are actually coated copper.  As you scrape you will start to see that you are revealing the copper underneath.



At this point the battery on my phone died and I freaked out a little until I realized that I still had a charger for that.  But once I plugged it in and started following the instructions again I stopped taking pictures but once you've seen what the inside looks like the pictures aren't as necessary.  (I didn't have any pictures in the instructions I was looking at.)  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The finished product

Step Seven:  Twist the inner wires together and wrap with electrical tape.

Step Eight:  Twist the outer wires together and wrap with electrical tape. (I did take a picture of the end the next morning.)

Step Nine:  (Optional)  Say many prayers, get out the fire extinguisher and drink another glass of wine.

Step Ten:  Plug it into the wall and make sure it doesn't blow up.  Then plug it into the computer, saying another prayer and see if you've been successful.

Step Eleven:  If successful:  run around the house screaming that you are the man, that you are awesome and that you can do ANYTHING!!!  If not successful:  Cuss, drink another glass of wine, unwrap everything and try again.  Repeat as necessary.

Now you can all tell me how amazing I am.... Super Human really.  Try not to be blinded by my awesomeness if you run into me on the street.  I'm basically just a human being... a super one!